Wake Up to Becca

my fairytale wedding...

2011-11-26T15:08:00.000-08:00

I figured since it has been 3 months I should finally blog about my wedding. It was wonderful. Everything I ever wanted.

I never planned my wedding as a little girl, nor as a teenager or young adult. I just figured that day would come (hopefully) and I would plan it then. Nevertheless, I really wanted to have bagpipes and some Irish or Scottish dancing. That I knew.

A lot can change in a short amount of time. There I was engaged and planning my wedding. Wedding planning is hard work... especially in another country. But everything turned out lovely. I loved loved loved my dress! It was lacy vintage with a touch of glam. My colors were white, ivory, and eggplant but greenery was included. I had my wedding reception the night before my wedding at the Caledonian hall at the Royal Botanic Garden. I wanted it to look a step up from an elegant garden tea party. The white and ivory contrasted so nicely with the eggplant and greenery. I sketched my 2-tier wedding cake with lace, pearls, eggplant ribbon and calla lilies on top. It turned out nicely.

Christian and I took our pictures out in the garden and upon returning we were greeted by our bagpiper Ian Grant. He played amazing and was such a character! He got along with my family really well. After a few group/family pictures everyone was seated inside. The doors were open for us and Ian played us in while everyone stood as we walking to our seats. I felt like Rose from the Titanic in the last scene. It was very nice with everyone standing and smiling while we entered. Ian toasted us before departing. He mentioned that this was the first time in a very long time he had toasted without alcohol. ha.

We had a 3-course meal followed by speeches from my dad, Christian, myself, Christian's best man (his cousin), and my maid of honor (my sister). Then there was a surprise speech by my brother who was also the announcer. Every one's speech was touching and from the heart. I loved it. I couldn't stop smiling. There was a lot of love in that room. After the speeches, we cut the cake. However, we should of had a practice cake or something... ha ha. Due to the thick frosting and marzipan that makes it all pretty and smooth, the slice would not come out. Christian just let me have at it. I brought the knife high above my head and brought it down with two hands stabbing it into the cake. Then I wedged the knife under the cake and used it pry the slice up. when we fed it to each other a bit fell into my cleavage. When I bent my head down so I could pick it out, Christian fed a bit of cake to my forehead which caused me to laugh and snort with my mouth full of thick frosting. There was a lot of laughter after that whole scene.

Next, there were a few more pictures as additional people were arriving for the ceilidh (Scottish dancing) portion of the evening. The five man band was great complete with singer/caller. I love Ceilidhs. It is like country dancing or square dancing but more awesome with Scottish music! It was so much fun! Most people joined in and the kilts were flying around the dance floor. Everyone was just smiling and laughing and having a good time. No offense to any other wedding I have been to but that was the most fun I have ever had at a wedding. It was just how I wanted it. (But of course I am a bit bias). There are many friends and family I wished could attend, but I was so grateful for the ones who came and made my wedding reception spectacular...... stayed tuned for another blog of the actual wedding day...

the smart car...

2011-07-13T07:24:00.000-07:00

So I was doing the dishes and looking out the window in somewhat of a daze, but also anything is more exciting than the actual task at hand, and a smart car drove by. Even though smart cars are more abundant here in the UK, it is good to know that they are still made fun of here just like the US. They look so stupid and I was wondering what was so smart about them. Sure they can park anywhere and they cost little to nothing for gas but how else are they smart. Well I guess you don't have to worry about all your friends using you for a ride or using the excuse that your car fits everyone better. Nope you get one passenger. Kind of smart. No driving to or picking up people from the airport unless they travelled with no baggage, not even a carry on. Then again that means that you probably won't be driving yourself to the airport. Forget trips to the grocery store, unless you need just a gallon of milk. So that saves on even more gas because you get to walk and carry your bags... smart. Also if you get in a car accident, no need for a casket. They can just bury you in the car. That also saves money... what a smart car.... I finished the dishes and started thinking about

something else.

My Dessert

2011-07-05T13:24:00.000-07:00

So I realize that I have not blogged in forever.... I have had many stories and instances to blog about but never did. So of course I need to blog about something random like dessert. I usually don't follow recipes. I just make my own stuff. Usually it turns out good but there are occasional mishaps. For instance, Kira and I didn't want to spend money on a treat, didn't want to leave the house and didn't want something fattening.... so of course we used biscuit mix with water, canned pumpkin and added hot chocolate powder.... Let me just tell you right now, not a good idea. It came out as one solid mass (just like the way placed it in the oven) and it was pretty much horrible, but yes we ate it.

So the situation was very similar this evening. Wanted a treat, didn't want to go to the store, don't want to spend money and don't want to get any fatter. However, this time it turned out much better... Yay! I peeled an orange and cut it into chunks, then sprinkled cinnamon on top, after that I threw on a bit of low fat granola cereal. I took out my frozen summer fruits (raspberries, blueberries, strawberries and blackcurrants) and heated them on a frying pan with a little brown unrefined sugar and a bit of orange blossom organic honey and a bit of orange rind. I heated that until the juices blended together and the fruit was soft. Then I poured that over the oranges and added a dollop of raspberry yogurt (I would imagine that vanilla would be nice). The dessert was pretty tart but superb. I will definitely do that one again.... Yep. Just wrote a blog about a dessert I made up without telling you anything about my life. I feel good. Until next time.

My love story...

2011-03-22T11:47:00.000-07:00

Stats on Christian:

5'11" . Scottish from the highlands. Mom- Scottish. Dad- British. Studying-civil engineering. Accent-not so strong but still sexy ;) Possible wedding date- end of Aug. Where- civil marriage in Scotland and temple marriage in Preston, England. I will stay here for a couple years while he finishes school. We will have dual citizenship.

I fell for the most sensitive caring man. I met Christian last semester at church. We only spoke a few times but he was nice and a gentleman. Before I left on Christmas break I had him walk me to the bus stop after church because I had worn heels in the ice and snow (yes I was dumb). He escorted me like a true gentleman. We didn't talk for a while because of Christmas break but we got in contact in January. We went out as a group of YSA to celebrate the farewell of our friend Kieren who had been called on a mission to South Africa. Instead of sticking with the group, Christian and I went to get a mocktail and then followed that up with some salsa dancing. We danced until the club closed and had a really good time. A week later we went to the play "Fame" with a couple friends. I made fun of it the whole time and pointed out the main characters that had big wedgies. The next night I invited him to my friend's birthday bash so we could go dancing again. That night is when things changed. Instead of just seeing a cute younger guy, I thought he was pretty hot. We almost kissed right there that night. We wanted to.

The next day at church he asked if I wanted to stir up a little gossip and held my hand. My face changed a couple shades I am sure. That night was super bowl Sunday which is pretty late here in Scotland. We had to go watch it at the university because not a whole lot of people watch here in the UK. We got there at 10pm and the game ended at 3am. He even made a Steelers sign for me (still sad they lost). Then when it was over he walked me to my bus stop in the rain and waited for it to come. That is where we had our first kiss. We hung out everyday since then. I have always been scared of commitment. At times I thought that I could never be monogamous (in a non-sexual just dating one guy type of way). I like to have too much fun for that. However, that all changed with Christian. He has such a tender heart. It is funny because he is so proper and I am so not. He still laughs at my jokes though. I guess we balance each other out. I feel safe with him and knew that he would never try anything inappropriate with me. He has shown time and time again how much he cares. And for someone that doesn't have the greatest health (me) I know that he will always be there for me no matter how sick I may get.

After I came back from Sweden, things became more serious. We missed each other a lot. We started to discuss our future together (considering my visa would expire in Dec.). Monday night we had just finished watching Glee (the Christmas episode) and we started talking about how nice it would be to spend Christmas together. That is when a loud voice in my head said, "you are going to marry him". And I blurted out (like I do), "I am going to marry you." Nope we were not even talking about marriage at the time. But he responded with, "You will? That would make me the happiest man!" And he followed that with some super sweet things. He got excited about our possible marriage and I realized that we have not actually said I love you. So I said, "you can probably say it now." And he said, "will you marry me?!" I laughed and said yes but that is not what I wanted. I thought that he could probably say he loved me... so then he said it... ha ha ha... maybe not the most romantic but I would not have it any other way. After that, he got on it. We went ring browsing. He spoke with my mom first to ask permission. She was ecstatic. Said she knew I was going to marry him since I actually liked him for more than two weeks. (That is basically my track record, but why stay with someone longer than that when he is not the one?) We went ring shopping again and I picked one that I liked and it fit my finger perfectly.

That night he was to talk to my dad and step mom. He was very nervous. I was in the kitchen when he skyped them. I was supposed to be doing my studies but instead I was ease dropping even though I could not hear the whole conversation I got pieces of it. I figured he was going to propose the next day since he can't keep secrets (revealing eyes) and he wanted to go to the botanical gardens. When he was done skyping with my dad (it went very well), he came into the kitchen and was smiling with tears in his eyes. He gave me a long hug and told me how much he loved me and wanted to spend forever with me. Then he told me to wait right there. He left the room and came back with a ring box. (He bought it the same day I tried it on.) He got on one knee and asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes. He teared up. Told you he was tender. Gosh I love that man. We still went to the gardens the next day. It was not so much about the scenery or a staged proposal as it was the moment. A very special moment. And I am happy to have found him.

My birthday adventures

2011-03-12T08:16:00.000-08:00

I thought that I would post something since it has been a while and I always have something I could say but I never write it down. So I figured I would center this post around me and MY birthday ha ha. I went to Sweden. But my story starts a little before Sweden. There is a guy I am dating.... Yes I never bring up guys that I date. I don't date a lot and even when I do, you would never hear about it. I can't even say the word boyfriend. I never have said it. But if you prefer to put in the word boyfriend to describe this guy I am dating, I will allow it just this once. I might use the word man squeeze. He is cute and nice and I like him... So I told my man squeeze that my dad gets me flowers on my birthday (among other occasions)and what kinds of flowers are my favorite (lilies, orchids, and hibiscus). He wanted to do something nice before I went went to Sweden on my actual birthday. So on Friday night I buzz him into my building and I unlock the door to my flat. He had to walk up just one flight of stairs and right before he got to the hall door I had an idea to scare him. So I ran out and slid along the wall almost missing my chance. When he came through that door, I popped out and screamed. *freeze frame* I am slowly jumping through the air in his direction, mouth open, arms waving when I see that he is trying to be romantic with a bouquet of lilies in hand but it too late. Much too late. *action* I got him. He fell against the wall, face in horror and the lilies barely made it out alive....Realizing that he was surprising me with flowers and I hopped out and scared him only made it funnier for me... ha haha... Man I had a good laugh.. The next day he took me on a picnic in one of my favorite spots outside of Edinburgh called Rosslyn. There is an old castle ruin there and it was sunny and perfect.

On my birthday Laura and I flew to Sweden. Laura is from Minnesota and studying at Edinburgh. For a birthday present, she gave me Sweden. Yep the whole country... okay maybe just the chance to see it but it was still awesome. We went to Stockholm. From this point on I will number my comments.

1. The plane ride: Someone farted. It is true. Farted in a contained space with little air or ability to move. It smelled of sewage and poo. The stench permeated the whole back of the airplane. I gagged. The man next to Laura breathed into his jacket, one man buried his face in his arm and flight attendants saved themselves by running for their lives. (Afterward on skype, my sister and I exaggerated the story so that the emergency doors were opened, people were jumping to their deaths and the oxygen masks were falling from the ceiling, I have to admit the story got better and better but was not reality)... Because the planes insist in keeping the temperature frigid I had to go for my jacket and after successfully pulling it out of the overhead compartment, I managed to fall straight back. Not sure how it happened or how I lost balance doing nothing but I fell backwards hitting my butt on the arm rest and pushing my seat back with such force that it hit the man sleeping behind me... I was so embarrassed especially because there were two very attractive men staring right at me so I started my loud laugh and then, well, a lot more were staring. Oh and did I mention that at one time the flight attendant bent over so quickly and closely that my nose almost penetrated her butt? The flight was an adventure.

2.Food in Sweden was good. Their salads are delicious and their desserts and their main dishes and okay I will stop. I have been a bit deprived of good food living in Scotland. However I will have to say that their baked goods are a bit scary. Bought a raspberry muffin, bit in and it had PEPPER in it. Pepper?! Pepper! Horrible. Then I got a cinnamon roll later and yep pepper surprise. What a cruel trick. I can't read Swedish so it might say pepper right on the label but I would not know it. My stomach was mad and my tongue.

3. It was cold. We walked a lot. The people were nice. There were taller people there than Scotland and attractive. It is so easy to navigate there. Didn't get lost once. We stayed in a old prison that they turned into a hostel. It was located on its own island and we stayed in one of the cells in the museum portion of the prison. It was really awesome. I would recommend it to anyone. It was clean and interesting. Downside would be that it is farther away from the city center. I bought a striped prison shirt to wear to bed at night. Yay. Speaking of another embarrassing moment... hmm. I think that I will keep that one from the public and will tell only certain inquiring minds... oh and I met a couple girls that invited us to go clubbing with them. While we were there she asked me if I was going to get a drink, when I said no she asked if I was pregnant. I guess in Sweden only pregnant women don't drink. She asked me lots of questions and I ended up sharing about my church and the organization of it and how it is different from other Christian based churches... it was an interesting conversation to have at a bar/disco =)

4. We went to a couple museums while we were there. The military museum was awesome in the sense that there was a man from Israel explaining what is happening there and had documented everything with pictures. He was talking about their military regime and how children are raised to think they need to protect their country because no one else will. The graves of the Jews are spread through out because of the holocaust and other attacks on the people. Men are required to be in the military for 3 years and women 2 years. They currently have sections of their country where they keep Palestinians contained and if they stepped out of their confinement, they are blinded with cloth and handcuffed, then left on the street for hours and sometimes days as part of their punishment. The things I learned horrified and intrigued me. These are not things of the past. It is happening right now. He spoke of how easy it is to blur the lines of good and evil. To normalize what once was unthinkable....

5. Vasa museum. This museum contains a large battleship from the 1600's. It was beautiful and hand crafted. There were double the cannons than usual on this fine ship, but the ship was made too narrow and there was not enough room to pile in the rocks to balance the ship. It sailed out into the great ocean and then toppled over and sank. That is it. Never went to battle. It remained in the water for 300 years until it was excavated from the ocean floor. It dried for 9 years. While looking at it lines from the Goonies entered my head and it took everything I had not to yell... HEY YOU GUYS! But I did let a couple verses of Pirates of the Caribbean slip out.

6. Open air museum is where you go around and see how the building would have looked and how they made things. The workers were dressed up and it was pretty cool to see. It would have been better if we would of had more time there and if it were the summer. But my favorite was the Scandinavian animal section. Only zoo in Stockholm. We went to the Elk section and I was trying to take a picture of the only Elk that still had his antlers on when one of the other elks noticed me. It was in the center of the field and started walking my way until it got right up to the fence. It let me pet it for some time. It was adorable and it stuck its head all the way through. That is when I decided that I want a pet Elk. Never really thought about it before but I want one.

7. I destroyed my favorite boots. I was ticked off. I was constantly sliding on ice. My heels got jacked and then the last moments I slipped and pretty much did the splits. And my leather got scratched. I was already feeling sick that day and cranky so that did not help much. The only thing that brought me out of my funk was an old lady walking a super cute dog. I looked at the dog and it made me smile. I love dogs. Then the medium to large size down jumped up on its hind legs and started humping the old lady while she was most likely saying in Swedish.. NO! Get down!... and I smiled. Ha ha... thanks dog....

The end.

Powder

2011-01-08T09:04:00.000-08:00

I live in Scotland and I am now the whitest I have ever been in my life... I swear it. Not the Nicole Kidman white that is actually rather beautiful and not the sexy mysterious vampire white.. I am talking about sickly pastey white.... I had some blood tests done in San Diego over Christmas break and the results said that I am fairly healthy other than I am Vit D deficient. I don't think I need blood work to tell me that. Scotland doesn't get much sun and even when there is sun it is so cold outside that you have to completely cover up, preventing any sunlight actually touching your skin...

It is kind of depressing, I am such a sunshine girl. So from now on you can call me Powder, taken from the wonderful 1995 film... hmm... he was oddly attractive, maybe that is what I can shoot for. =)

Life is a disillusioned baked potato...

2011-01-06T07:24:00.000-08:00

I am quite aware that I can be quite random with my thoughts and some things don't seem to relate at all. And yet that suits me.. Nothing special happened today. I woke up late (still sick, it has been a month) and had to go for an interview to be a volunteer... that story will be told another time. I was tired, hungry, sick and cold. I could barely sit there..... (Later)... Many times when I try to read or do my homework (write 2 important essays) my mind wanders... I do my best to concentrate but no such luck.. It would be better if the style of writing was different. I am reading academic journals and books. The subject material is interesting but I hate, I mean I LOATHE the style or process... If they would just write the facts and how they got there... great. But instead it is paragraph after paragraph, page after page of them trying to explain or setting up what they will explain later... I will attempt to..., I will discuss this in this part and will continue to discuss it later... and so on and so on... If they would just cut the crap, the fluff, 20 pages would be reduced to 6. I swear... But this is what I learned in order to get by as an academic writer in my masters... I must explain and introduce the same topics a million times before actually explaining/introducing the topic. And then explain the explanation making sure to back it up with other people's explanation of the same topic....kill me.

On other thoughts, I was thinking about telephone conversations while sitting on the bus listening to a girl talk on her phone a few seats behind me... One thing that was a bit interesting and yet ever so slightly annoying is the way the Scots end a conversation... they say, bye. What is so odd about that? It is the way they say it. It is a couple octaves higher than the American "bye". It is more airy and light and higher pitch... Byee..I have never liked it. It is even worse when a guy says it... all light and fluffy. Be a man. I would rather have a deep grumpy sounding goodbye than a light airy weird high pitch man goodbye. I guess I am just used to the states and I like it that way. I bet they think my goodbye is rude and unfriendly when I say it in either a normal tone or even as part of my last sentence without its due breath or break... K talk to you later bye. There is no fluff, no linger, no change of tone... sometimes I will sing a goodbye for a joke but that is not my usual goodbye. I don't like to drag it out... Mexican peeps love to drag it out.. I end up just hanging up after a while. Don't get me wrong, I love them but when they are going on with que vaya bien mi dulce angel de los cielos etc (sweet ways to continue to say goodbye) .. I say nothing other than, okay bye!! Right now you are thinking, woah this girl has problems she is going on and on... ha ha ha

Another funny observation of the day while I am getting it "all out there", I was in the cafe part of the mall today enjoying an overpriced, nothing special meal, I looked at some of the cafe pictures and advertisements. I love how all the pictures (no matter where you go) make the food look like a work of art. It is on a beautiful plate in just the right lighting. The baked potato is cooked to perfection with sour cream drizzling barely down the side while a triangular cut tomato rides on top, accompanied by a little cilantro stem to bring new dimension and color. When in reality, you get that baked potato and it looks like a can of chili vomited on top and then they slapped a bit of topping on top of that, and slid it onto a brown tray. Where is the artistic talent then... where is my tomato triangle?! Just the one, right on top with its friend cilantro. But isn't that how life is? You have this vision of what it will look like. It is beautiful, everything is in its proper place but in reality it can just look like a steaming blob. Not at all what you expected. But you have to dig in anyway and it might surprise you that it is still good despite the fact that it was not what you expected... but it is still likely to give you gas.

Christmas time

2010-12-29T11:33:00.000-08:00

Let me just say that Christmas was great. My dad flew me home and it was such a blessing. Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Christ with our families and close friends.... and about presents. ha ha.... But seriously, I was so excited to be home. It is funny, I love Scotland and I am grateful to be here, but there is no security blanket. I have no family here and my close friends that are like family are all back home. Coming home allowed me to put my guard down that I didn't even know that I was carrying. I felt comfort and a lot of my stress was wiped away. It was a wonderful Christmas present. One of love and laughter. And of course presents.

I wanted to just stay home and not come back but I knew I had something to accomplish here beyond the scope of my masters. So I came back, naturally. The trip took almost 24 hours. Let me tell you the best thing about traveling for 24 hours..... NOTHING!!!! Absolutely nothing, there is not one redeeming quality about it. My flight got cancelled and then rearranged which I was fine with. Everything said that it was going to be on time and considering all the cancelled flights I was ecstatic. I boarded my first connecting flight right on time and ..... nothing. We sat there in the plane for 2 1/2 hours going no where. They kept teasing us by saying, "we are the next in line... oh boy, just another 15 minutes..." Liars. But I guess they had to pacify us somehow. They wouldn't let us get up either... I guess it was a way to pay us back for making them work on the Sabbath and the day after Christmas. I was pretty tired and sitting next to Mr. Grumpy Pants. So I decided to get a restful sleep by leaning the seat back the full 2 inches and twisting my body so my head was against the window, my hips to the side, and knees jammed into the seat in front of me... Ah... perfect. Perfect until you get a cramp in your side. I would like to record me trying to sleep on an airplane for future use. It would be funny to watch all my contorted positions as I tried to adjust myself in the invisible box.

So I was supposed to have a few hours lay over in London but when we got there I had a 1/2 hr to go through customs and catch my next flight on the other end of the airport. Neat. I was running with heavy bags to one of the check points where the airport security worker decided to only take UK citizens while I waited. This one guy let me go in front even though there were more UK peeps behind him. Then I dashed to my gate, struggling to carry my bags, tired with a stabbing pain in my lower back and I had to pee horribly. When I got there they said they we were just closing the gate. I was sweating. I felt like telling the guy to get me a water, a stretcher and a diaper...

So after sleeping a lot, I am back. I have 2 essays to write before the 10th... It makes me tired just thinking about it. But I am going to do it..... starting tomorrow...

One-eyed pirate

2010-11-13T22:50:00.000-08:00

One eyed-pirate. Doesn't that make me sound cool? All pirates of the Caribbean cool? Johnny Depp cool? That is how I might be for a couple days with my makeshift patch. I don't know if my right eye is infected or what the crap is going on. The doc I saw doesn't seem to think that it is pink eye although my eye is pink, itchy, scratchy, and hurts like a mother. It is so extremely light sensitive that it doesn't dilate and the pupil remains small as to say to the light "yeah I don't care how dim a light you are, you are not coming in... no way no how.... because I hate you." I am closing that eye as I type because this computer screen is way too bright.... Man do I go through a lot of painful things. I will just add this to the list so that in the future when someone else's eye gets pink and possibly infected I can be like, "That hurt like hell didn't it?!" And then we can both have a good laugh because it did hurt like hell.

So I am typing this at 7am. Not a time that I like to be up especially since i couldn't fall asleep until like 2am. But around 5am is when my body thought, you have had your rest and now it is time to feel the pain. Can I say Tylenol doesn't work that great in this situation? I only have regular strength right now. That is like popping baby aspirin. I can eat these like tic tacs and not feel a difference. So of course to get my mind off of things I kept a very dim light on and cleaned my bathroom followed by bedroom. I even sprayed my new boots with protecting spray... I really couldn't think of anything I would like to do more than clean at this moment. I just love a good clean in the wee hours of the morning. Actually I do know what I would like more than cleaning right now and that would be a thicker eye lid... I don't think mine is thick enough. Maybe if my eye lid was thicker, I wouldn't have to wear a patch I could just keep my eye closed... might not be as cool though.

This is not a bad idea though really. Thicker eye lids... they might solve so many things for me. Like the fact that I don't sleep well....ever. Thicker eye lids would block out all that nasty light that even heavy curtains let creep through... yes I see you little light, even if I am sleeping. Maybe I am praying for the wrong things. Maybe instead of praying for a good nights sleep and no pain I should be praying for thicker eye lids... I will be seeing my second doc today. I will ask him for a proper eye patch. Then maybe I can see if there are any places still selling left over Halloween stuff and buy a sweet hat or hook..... boy oh boy!!!!!

So Scotland....

2010-11-11T12:35:00.000-08:00

Right.... I have so much that I could possibly write (about like 2 months worth) but I will only take the time to write about a couple interesting events at this time.... This is what you have all been waiting for I am sure.

1. So the UK is full of people from India and Pakistan (like my lovely flatmate from India). When my mum was here for two weeks we went to an Indian restaurant by our B&B. Our waiter was Punjabi (one's who wear the turban) and had the cutest personality. I really liked him. It was funny, I felt like I was in the movie Pretty Woman. Everyone in the UK uses forks more than the states... so I was trying to use my fork and knife on random things that I usually wouldn't. Then while trying to squeeze my lemon it jumped out of my hand and landed on the floor. The waiters knew we were from the states. Then when we got the bill and my mum was signing the receipt she had to write the date, which is different than the states because they do Day/Month/Year... So she kept going on and on about Sept. 11th. Saying that we write it differently etc. Then she pointed to the waiter and was like you know what I am talking about... he looked worried. She didn't think a thing but when we left I just kept laughing because she kept rubbing 9/11 in this poor guys face.... ha ha ha poor little terrorist... just kidding.

2. So after watching a movie with my flatmate, Nandini, I went over to the university to study up. On the way there I was waiting to cross the street and a lady starting singing at the top of her lungs. I looked at her to figure out if she was drunk or just crazy and smiled and turned around... Next second someone is running their fingers through my hair and kind of twisting it around. I look over and that crazy filthy lady is playing with my hair!!! She asked in a normal voice what I was smiling about. I told her I was just enjoying her voice. Then she said which one "this one?" (in a singing voice) or "this one" (in the deep raspy voice of Satan or if you have seen the House Bunny it was similar to that). Somewhat put off I told her I liked them both... continuing with the Satan voice she asked if I had a lighter and when I told I didn't smoke, she said that she could tell because of my pretty teeth that she looked at rather longingly... when I was able to cross the street I booked it away nervously laughing.

3. So one Friday night I decided to go dancing with my friend Laura, who doesn't even like dancing bless her heart, but didn't know where to go. We ended up at this pub. Which I am not going to lie, I ended up there because I followed a rather interesting crowd..... of GRANNIES!!! Seriously, there are some older women in their late 50's to upper 70's range that go out dancing together on a Friday night. The pub played techno and some hip hop music. These grannies got down. I tried my best to ease myself into their circle. They were drinking and doing a little bumping and grinding. There was even a younger guy (around my age) that got in there and they actually started freaking him a bit. I about died laughing!!! It warmed my heart. Pretty much the most awesome thing ever. That is the way to be.

4. I have plenty more stories which I will be sure to share next time. I do love it here but just in case you are getting too jealous I will just briefly name some of the more interesting down sides...There is garbage everywhere because people throw it right on the ground, constant use of the F-word (boy do they love it), you have to dodge dog poop when you walk and look out for vomit, if you are not stepping in it you are watching it spew directly out of someone's mouth (mmm...boy), the public transport aka bus is always interesting (from the occasional blast of BO that physically assaults your nose and destroys your senses, to the loud drunk people, to the constant sick mainly elderly people who have never heard of covering their mouths when they cough), the wind and rain, the cold weather outside to the extreme heat inside that makes you sweat, did I mention that everything closes down by 6pm if not earlier? and that people get drunk directly after work then yell outside my window until about 3am and then do it all over again the next day, and the disgusting men that hit on me pretty much everyday.... ha ha... man... good times... I think I might miss it when I leave. Really.... I might. But just in case you think that I hate it here or that it is a bad place to be, you are wrong. I actually love it.

Mrs. Gingerbread man

2010-10-23T15:25:00.000-07:00

.... It is not the first time that my voice has been described as reaching the octaves only attainable to the wee gingerbread man. And I don't think it is a bad thing. Everyone needs a little gingerbread man inside them. (In my case I am using this symbolically and literally because I am [or can be replaced with the word ate] this gingerbread man) That's right I used brackets within parenthesis and I don't even know if that grammatically correct... derailed... back to point..... Just look at him. He makes you happy. His constant grin, his crazy eyes.. you don't know where he is looking... but it is some place great.

I have been feeling like him (a bit broken yet still smiling) for the past month. There was so much going on. The stress and nervousness you feel when you realize that you just made a huge decision that you didn't really take a second thought about and now you are while flying over seas... yes I am talking directly about myself... Then arriving knowing you don't really have money or know where you are or have a place to live or have any family or friends etc... then having some rather dramatic family problems and friend issues and other life changes (adjusting to a new school and culture) all within a short period of time can make you feel like you have broken in half, missing an arm, a leg and maybe even a chocolate rather waxy tasting button.

Needless to say I have been going through a rough time here in Scotland. But at the same time I love it. New experiences, new friends, new scenery. It makes me very happy. But when struggling with some deeper problems it is still very difficult to truly feel that happiness. I have been praying a lot. Which is never a bad thing. Sometimes I can't make it through the day or an hour without praying. But it has strengthen my faith and relationship with God and for that I am very grateful. I am grateful for all the experiences that I have, the good and the bad. I will take both. The misery so I can feel the joy.

Joseph Smith's words have always stuck a chord with me. He said while he was wrongly incarcerated at Liberty jail and while the early saints were being severely persecuted, "Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed." I want to have the strength of Joseph Smith, to do cheerfully all things that lie in my power. I know that God will do His part.

Until then, I will continue to be Mrs. Gingerbread man. I may be a little broken at times but I am going to keep smiling and laughing (loudly, high pitch, and from the gut). ..... keeping one eye straight and the other towards the ground... ha ha ha... okay that last part was not true... but just look at the picture of the gingerbread man.... ha ha ha... makes me smile.

onto CA...

2010-09-20T06:59:00.000-07:00

Well I drove to CA and stopped off in Reno to see my grandparents and uncle. I basically slept there and then went bowling with my grandparents and their old bowling friends. I have done this once before. They are 3x my age and they all beat me. I enjoy them. I am not a bowling pro and I only go maybe once a year. I am glad this year was with my witty grandparents.

then I dashed on home to my dad and step mom. Happy to see them. A couple hours later my friend Chad and my old mission comp Maricela came over with their chubby baby. She is one cute chunky kid who doesn't mess around when she wants her food. Seriously cute though. They stayed over for a while and had dinner. We shared some laughs.

Through out that week I was able to spend some time with my dad and Lorie. It was nice however I was constantly stressed over the fact that I didn't have my VISA yet and just found out that I didn't have housing like I thought I did. Dad took me golfing and I sucked. I am going to blame it on the fact that I had to use Lorie's golf clubs that were way short for me. It was like trying to use midget golf clubs (no offense Lorie, I tell my mom that too).

I went dancing at my friend Sean's house party with AUBREY! That is in CAPS because I wait all year to go dancing with Aubrey. we have our own grove and understanding. we don't choreograph our moves but it sure looks like it. That is what you get when you continue to dance at parties with the same person for 6 years. We rocked it..

Then my sister Sarah flew in for a slumber party. We laughed the entire time. I don't even remember why. But with my sister it doesn't matter. we picked her up from the airport and I laughed when i saw her. Laughed when i put her bag in the trunk and laughed in the back seat of the car when my dad drove. we laugh loud. Real loud. When I am with my sister it doesn't matter that I am the loudest laugher in the world because she can give me a run for my money (I still win though). we went to lunch with my Bro Jason, I wish that would have lasted longer. It was a good time and then went horseback riding with Brooke. I wish that too would have lasted longer. Hung out with Jared and watched yet another incredible movie, Diary of a Wimpy Kid. They were fresh out of the Troll, Troll 2, Ernest movies, Mary Higgins Clark made for the hallmark channel etc.

Then I thought that for sure I wouldn't be going to Scotland because I hadn't received my visa and had done everything I could to track it down. But the morning of my pre-scheduled flight, there was a knock on the door and there was my visa! What?! I hadn't packed. I hadn't done anything to prepare. So then it was a rush to pack and get everything done and head to the airport to make my flight. Crazy I tell you! CRAZY! I literally almost missed every flight. i left two very important things at home, my laptop and my camera. DANG IT! I was just running from flight to flight.... (stopping off in NEW York where I got to see Colin one last time. YAY!) and then onto Scotland......

and Arizona...

2010-09-20T06:38:00.000-07:00

After WA I flew to AZ to visit with some friends and see a homeopathic or natural medicine doctor. I stayed with my mission trainer Bethany (formally known as Hermana Auxier) and her husband (and my friend) Luis. They have an adorable daughter Patricia who I love but screams a lot. She is pretty much the cutest though. Most of my trip was spent at Bethany's house doing nothing. Which may sound boring but it wasn't. I loved it. I don't get to see Bethany very much and it was just enjoyable to sit there and spend time with her and her family. They included me in their nightly scripture study and prayer which I really enjoyed. i saw the homeopathic doc the 2nd day there. she put me on a strict diet where I can pretty much eat nothing and then told me I had to take a nasty combination of essential oils in the morning and at night (I started this after I left AZ but they are truly the nastiest tasting crap ever.... it better work). It was an interesting doc's visit. I spent the rest of the day with my friend, Diana. We have been friends for 21 yrs. Once again I can't say that we did anything but we are always laughing while doing it.

One day, Bethany took me and my friend Will to Salt river to do some kayaking. It was fun and beautiful. We went down some crazy rapids..... ha ha ha. okay they were really small but one can pretend right? we saw all sorts of nature. Right by the water was a herd of wild horses with their little colts with them. So stinking cute. we kayaked right up to them. We also saw an older sagging lady with no top on, wet see-through granny panties, and bending over right by the river. So cute. It was a good time. Bethany even had lunch for us after our adventure. =)

Then after a nice trip it was on the plane heading back to Provo with a box of nasty essential oils in order for me to say a final goodbye to my friends and drive to CA....

Oh Washington...

2010-08-24T23:32:00.000-07:00

So I flew to WA to stay with my Uncle Chris and my mom. My friend April (my old mission companion) drove from Portland to hang out as well. So while my mom was getting her hair done, April and I went to the Westfield mall in So. Seattle. It is a large mall and full of interesting things like an Asian supermarket. I was drawn to it because I like to try different food and because I heard KARAOKE! That's right. Karaoke + Asians = love. I couldn't help myself. I was like a moth to a flame, a fat kid to a candy bar, a... I think you get the picture. Some of them were good and others reached some octaves that sounded like the screeching of a seagull. It was for a competition and you know how I love to compete. So I signed up. Which song might you ask? Only the best. Bonnie Tyler: Total Eclipse of the Heart. I love it. I can't help it, I love a good crowd. So I rocked it. I sang it loud and proud. I added some dance moves to the roar of the crowd. I ended to the loud applaud of a captivated audience. They wanted more. But I was done. I took my prize and left. Sadly I won't be in WA long enough to compete in the grand prize but I'm okay with it.

So I may have gone to Forks, WA and then to La Push with April and my mom. We may have also bought Twilight T-shirts and took many pictures of various sites. I am not a crazed fan but I did want to see it and it was funny. They have really commercialized the area. Everything has Twilight on it.... "This is where Bella shops" written on a local store.... 3 Twilight retail stores dedicated completely to the movie. Then there was "twilight firewood", Wolf Den Cabin Rental, Twilight Eclipse Cabin, etc... I swear they like labeled apples as the apple from the cover of the book. So funny.

Side note: A marine on leave or something who was raised in Forks struck up a conversation with me in one of the twilight stores. He had a nice body, tall and really nice teeth. I just wasn't in the mood to flirt or talk for that matter. What were we going to do? Spend the day together, exchange info and then he will go back to Afghanistan and I will travel to where ever? I just don't see the point... (I was thinking this the whole time he was talking and I was watching is body language).... He was nervous talking to me and I don't know why. He was obviously friendly since he started the conversation. However, his hands shook a little, he occasionally swayed, he spoke about how much he worked out, that he loves to travel, he is 27, what his rank is (Sergeant or something).... He was trying to impress me but for what? I could have played into it but I didn't care. Instead I was friendly and polite and then..... well I let a sarcastic comment slip out..... oops. We parted and I will probably never see him again.... farewell.

Continuing: It was really pretty over there by Forks and La Push. Appropriately, it was a full moon and I took some good shots of the moon on my camera. They turned out great but I can only imagine how they would turn out with an even better camera. Forks is located right by the Olympic National Forrest. We ran out of time and didn't get to hike or go to the hot springs like I wanted to but it was still fun.

Moving again with new adventures...

2010-08-24T23:03:00.000-07:00

So I hate moving. HATE IT. I have done it so many times that you would think I would own nothing. But it is not true. I still have mounds of stuff. I literally have 7 bags of stuff to give away. I hate moving so much that I procrastinate until the last minute to do it.

So of course the night before I move out I ended up blasting some jams and dancing in the hallway... which for those who have roomed with me, this happens every time. I pretty much got the whole apartment to stop what they were doing and dance it out. Then I proceeded to try on ridiculous things that I have collected and run around the house. The night included, putting on a cowboy hat and riding around on a broom throughout the house and courtyard outside (if you want to call it that) with my roommate Mischa who was also equipped with a broom and cowboy hat. This may seem a bit insane but that is how I get when I have to do the thing I loathe which is moving.

Then what better thing can I do but pop open some sparkling cider and have a toast to my roommates in wine glasses. Maggie said some true words that may have been taken from a movie with sexy actor Dermot Mulroney (modified a bit) : "Here's to those who've won you, the losers who've lost you, and the lucky bastards who've yet to meet you!" Cheers!

I have had some good times in that apartment. A lot of laughs.... a whole lot of laughs. I could be myself which can get pretty crazy the more I know someone. I popped out and scared them numerous times. Here are the best two: Maggie and Mischa were getting home from seeing the movie Inception and were discussing it loudly. So I turned off the light in the bathroom and snuck down the hall. I waited for them to come around the corner and I popped out. Mischa's face was priceless... then she flailed her arms around and dropped to the ground in the fetal position. It was so funny I buckled over laughing!

The second one was with Kelly. It was evening time and she was moving some stuff out.... I got to my favorite corner in the hall and popped out and scared her. She screamed and clutched her chest.... then about 2 minutes later she walked into the front room and I thought about how funny it would be to get her in the same spot 2 minutes later. This time I crouched on the ground and scared her again. She jumped and yelled "Ah!!! why?!" okay, enough is enough right? Right... so about an hour later Mischa came home and I hid on the other side to scare her but Kelly walked down the hall first... too bad. I scared her again. It was so funny because she jumped back and just yelled, "why?!!!!" Bah ha ha ha ha..... I was the one who fell on the floor, laughing that is....

Man I love them. Thanks for putting up with me.... Sometimes I feel like I might be a bit childish but then again I am not sure I want to change.

Top night

2010-08-06T01:00:00.001-07:00

So Kaisha and I decided to make great use out of the wigs her grandma gave her with a night out on the town in Provo. We dressed in normal attire and normal makeup. Nothing extreme. Then we put on the wigs and headed out. We decided to eat a nice dinner at CPK and it was hard not to laugh as we entered the room and the heads started to turn. Our wigs were not drastic enough to be like Halloween style not to mention it August 5th. So we were seated and our waiter always came over with a smirk and then tried to avoid us. It was quite comical. We had a lovely dinner where I consumed a whole pizza by myself and still didn't feel that full. It was a chipotle chicken pizza which was pretty good and a change up from my normal cheese pizza. Then we were going to catch a flick but needed to waste some time. What could be better than doing some shopping in the mall? We entered Forever 21 which has some interesting styles at the moment and laughed as we picked out some doozies that they displayed on the mannequins. We then separated from each other and picked out 3 outfits that the other person had to try on... it was a lot of fun since there were many hideous things to choose from. Then it was off to the dressing room. We had a lot of fun in there and were trying to not make it obvious that we were only trying these clothes on as a joke. Then before we knew it the mall was closed and we needed to head to the movies. We stopped off at the grocery store to pick up sodas and candy for the movie and on the way out there was this van that we walked by. There were a couple people in the van and one was an older lady (not sure of the age) but as we approach the vehicle, she quickly climbs to the front of the car as we are just going by the passenger door and locks it with her finger in almost a panic mode.... so freaking funny. What are we going to do? Assault her in her van? I just started laughing because that was awesome! Then we go to the movies where we see The A-Team. I really liked it actually. But I couldn't help but notice this chubby kid on my right. He was like 11 or 12 years old and had a large tub of popcorn to himself.... and he loved it... He was shoveling handfuls of popcorn into his mouth and some of the kernels escaped, creating a huge mess on the floor. But it was like he couldn't pack enough popcorn into his greasy mouth at one time so he decided to use both hands and stuff that popcorn in there until he could barely chew or breathe for that matter. He slopped loudly as he chewed and I could actually hear him getting fatter... poor little chunk. He was almost as entertaining as the movie.... FYI even though it is dark people can still see you. Well anyways it was a good night overall thanks to Kaisha and a few strangers. Top Night!

An adventure....

2010-07-30T00:33:00.000-07:00

I feel like most days there is an adventure just waiting around the corner. It doesn't have to be big. Sometimes it is just hanging out with friends sharing stories and doing random things. Or meeting new friends. Tonight I went on a hike with my friend Brett aka Sterling. We always end up doing random things and I love it. We just chat about our lives and express our thoughts. I end up laughing pretty much the whole time which for those who know me that isn't a big surprise. I was just hiking up squaw peak enjoying the company and the view. On my path we were startled by an animal. Turned out to be a baby owl. It flew away but it was so neat to see it that close. Then later on we met a kid, Justin, who just decided to chill and start a bonfire by himself. He was a cool guy and most likely has friends in Provo but chose to do it by himself... That is interesting. Sometimes being by yourself can be quite liberating. Just you and your thoughts. I think one has reached a good place when one can enjoy him or herself all by oneself. I mean I like people but I like alone time as well. As we turned back, a huge spider crossed our path. And it was big. I am not a fan of spiders but I am not deathly afraid of them either. I wanted to see what kind it was so I got really close and Sterling took some pictures. I was feeling a bit crazy so I squatted about a foot and a half away to get a closer look. I thought it might be a hobo spider. (It is a poisonous spider found in Utah.) It had another spider in its mouth with its fangs sunk into it. The dead spider seemed to have fought for its life because its legs were wrapped around the large spider (maybe the size of a sliver dollar). I had to jump over it to keep going. That freaked me out a little. Lets just say that our hike back went just a bit faster than the hike up. I went home and looked up the spider and sure enough it was the Hobo spider. They typically bite people from July to September and can run at an average speed of 17 inches per second.... wasn't that cute that I was so close to it? It could have been at my big toe in one second and then my knee the next.... those thoughts should put my mind at ease and allow for a peaceful sleep tonight I am sure. I have included a picture of my new friend (not the ones from Sterling's camera but to show what one looks like). Enjoy.

Man am I blessed...

2010-07-22T01:16:00.000-07:00

So a little while ago I had the opportunity to visit Seattle with my mom and uncle. I loved it... We went down to Pike's market. It is fantastic there. I decided to wander off by myself which I often do. Not that I don't enjoy the company I am with but sometimes I feel like being alone allows one to observe his/her surroundings more fully. I was soaking everything in.... the diversity of faces in the crowds, how people reacted to each other, the smells of different things from fresh king Salmon to leather to jam, the colors, the noise, the beauty of the fresh cut flowers and the taste of the samples... I was so completely content. I took a short break and walked to the edge of this outlook outside facing the water (if that makes sense). It was beautiful and fresh... I couldn't help but think how blessed I was for my senses. I have all of them... do we really even think about it? We use them everyday and do we consider them as the gift that they are? If I didn't have all of them my experience would not have been the same.

There were so many interesting people there. I love that. Diversity. People don't all have to be the same that is what makes life interesting. For instance this man that I met wearing a coon hat complete with head and tail. He made me happy, sure he might be a bit insane but goodness, bless him. He was pushing a little cart around with a Pomeranian dog inside. He asked me, "who is known to wear a coon hat with a head on it?" The only person I could think of was Davey Crockett. I was correct luckily. He told me that he had a variety of hats and that he was raising his dog to be his next hat... I laughed and he laughed and we had a lovely moment together. (he was joking about turning his dog into a hat). I bet people walk by and see this crazy guy wearing a coon hat and they laugh at him.... which is what I did but what others do not know is that he may be crazy but he is also funny. I am glad I saw that. And I got a picture. ...

just thoughts

2010-06-03T01:03:00.000-07:00

I am constantly learning and forever experiencing. Sometimes I get caught up in the mundane or the ordinary that I fail to see the extraordinary. There are so many things that I have yet to understand. There are so many people that bless my life whether they know it or not. I am constantly observing the goodness of people. There is still hope. The world is a mysterious place as Albert Einstein stated, "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, his eyes are closed." I have been blessed with the ability to wonder, the ability to awe. I guess sometimes it seems childlike to be fascinated with everything and everyone but it greatly enriches my life. I have had the opportunity to spend time with people I love (new friends and old) and I feel my heart expanding every time. People don't typically express such feelings but they should.

I recently read this quote from William George Jordan... "Happiness consists not of having, but of being; not of possessing, but of enjoying. It is the warm glow of a heart at peace with itself....Man is the creator of his own happiness; it is the aroma of a life lived in harmony with high ideals." I love that. Man is the creator of his own happiness. It is true. We choose. If we are miserable it is because we chose to be miserable. We chose to see the negative instead of the positive. It can be so difficult to see the positive in life. To not put oneself or others down. But if we see the beauty that is in others, ourselves, and this world it would be hard not to be happy. It helps to surround oneself with people that are positive and see life as great and mysterious as you do. And to be that example to others. "Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being" -Goethe. Wouldn't it be great if we were all a little less selfish, that we saw the good in others and wanted them to have success even if that meant that their success was greater than our own? If we had more charity and love for others, we would take the focus off ourselves and I believe that we would be a happier people. Those are just some of my late night thoughts... a little deep? I promise to have a funny blog next time.

I'm in love....

2010-05-21T21:46:00.000-07:00

You may be thinking... finally Rebecca is in love. It has taken her so long! She never likes anyone... well it is not that kind of love.... Today I discovered a little piece of heaven... For five minutes I forgot about worldly sorrow and took a bite right out of heaven. It came in the form of a cupcake. One so moist that they must have put pudding in the batter and real fruit juice.... It was key lime and it made me happy and left me wanting. It may not bring me marital bliss but it will be a lasting relationship.... Go to the sweet tooth fairy.

http://thesweettoothfairy.com/

Our Modern Day Trial

2010-05-02T18:17:00.000-07:00

President Brigham Young said: "The worst fear that I have about (members of this church) is that they will get rich in this country, forget God and his people, wax fat, and kick themselves out of the Church and go to hell. This people will stand mobbing, robbing, poverty, and all manner of persecution, and be true. But my greater fear for them is that they cannot stand wealth; and yet they have to be tried with riches, for they will become the richest people on this earth".

I was thinking about this quote today at church. The members of the church have persevered through persecution and physical ailments and stayed true to the gospel. Although that was so difficult for them to do and so many died I think that it almost empowered them. There was a clear line drawn between people who were followers of Christ and those who decided not to believe because the trial was too great. Today the lines are blurred. We have difficulties that try our faith but it is not the same. One is not physically and spiritually fighting for his/her faith. The things that attack our spirit are less obvious. Most of us do not have to struggle to stay alive, instead we are abounding in wealth. Temporal things come easy to us. Because of this easiness, we fall away. We don't look to God. The need for Him is not as great and our faith wavers. Members before us gave their lives for the faith and yet we fall away for simple life conveniences. Wealth means living comfortably and often when this happens we fall away. We don't rely on the Lord. Satan attacks members of Christ church not by mobs or martyrdom but by making them forget, by changing their focus, and slowly they fall away, sometimes without recognizing it. "And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheated their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell." (2 Nephi 28:21) ..... I pray that we do not fall for the craftiness of the devil who would want us to rely on our worldly possessions/comforts and lose sight of Christ. I hope that we don't have to be forced to be humble by some disaster before we turn to Christ.

Chivalry- I'm for it

2010-05-02T00:07:00.000-07:00

So I was thinking about Chivalry. I like it. I think it is nice if a guy gets your door when you are walking into a building or helps you get into the car. I like the gentle guiding hand on the small of your back. What is wrong with treating a lady like a lady. I didn't care for it much when I was younger. I thought it was strange and I thought that it was ridiculous because I could obviously get the door myself but now it is different. Now I take notice if a guy does not get my door. I am like, hey the door is not going to get itself... um, how am I going to get into the car.... A man definitely earns extra points if he does just these little things to show a woman respect. I mean it doesn't have to be over the top. I am not going to sit in the car and wait for him to get my door so I can get out but I think that the initial door opening is a nice gesture. That is all I am saying. I bet there are other females out there that pay attention to this as well and it would do a guy good to put forth the effort. Am I wrong?

dirty food

2010-04-19T17:50:00.000-07:00

So I am not a person that worries a whole lot about what I am eating..... well that is not exactly true. I try to eat healthy and I want things to be fresh and clean. But I have been known to eat in some shady places for the experience of it. However, I don't believe that places like Zupas or Maceys is what I would call experience worthy. I like Zupas, I have been there numorous times. However last time I was there (last week) I bit into a chocolate covered strawberry that was more covered with dirt than it was chocolate and that was disgusting. I spoke with the manager who looked more like a child and possible had the brain of a child. Either way I left there unsatisfied with gritty dirt in my teeth. I will most likely go back but I think I might be a little weary of their strawberries and maybe their salads too. Now onto Maceys.... I am standing there waiting to get my frozen yogurt in a cone and I was just observing how completely unsanitary it was there.... the girl was wearing gloves (how nice) however she never took them off. She used those same gloves to handle the money (coins and dollar bills that have been anywhere and everywhere) then she goes over and makes the cones for people with those same gloves and there is not a paper barrier on the cone. That is disgusting. She just transferred the germs right onto your ice cream that will be ingested. Then if you are not ready for that cone don't you worry, she will place it right on the dirty counter for you. that is sick. Probability of disease: Med to High. Probability that I will still eat it: also high. I mean I have Crohn's disease, how much worse can it get anyways?

What the ?

2010-03-26T16:58:00.000-07:00

Okay so I don't usually care what comments people write on my wall but... what is up with people writing in Chinese or Japanese on my wall? Yeah.... I don't speak either one. For all I know they are writing cuss words or horrible things about me on my blog... If they are making fun, write it in English so we can all have a good laugh. Obviously they can read English so why can't they write in English... this perplexes me. Anyways, so now I am screening my comments. Most will go through except for those dang messages in Chinese or whatever. Take that, people who write on my wall in some Asian language!

Thank you Lisa Kudrow

2010-03-12T00:23:00.000-08:00

I will have to admit that one of my favorite scenes from P.S. I Love You is the conversation that follows, please excuse the mild language and vulgarity:

Denise Hennessey: [Denise is admiring Ted as he walks by] Ooohhh, he's delicious isn't he? I'd serve coffee on that ass. John McCarthy: Do you have to be so vulgar about men? Like they're pieces of meat? Denise Hennessey: I'm sorry, John. I forgot you're sensitive about your flat ass. John McCarthy: You know, Denise, that's why you're not married. Women act like men. Then they complain men don't want them. Denise Hennessey: Oh, is that why? 'Cause I thought it was something different. I thought that it was 'cause I deserved the best and he's out there. He's just with all the wrong women. And let me be clear. After CENTURIES of men looking at my tits instead of my eyes and pinching my ass instead of shaking my hand, I now have the *DIVINE* right to stare at a man's BACKSIDE with vulgar, cheap appreciation if I want to! Sharon McCarthy: Well said! Denise Hennessey: Yeah, well, I thought so.

Is it bad that I objectify men? Because I don't feel guilty about it. Women have been objectified for centuries and it is about time that the tables have turned. Sociologists have realized the effect the media has on the public or is it the public that influences the media? I think that is one of those questions where you have to figure out what came first the chicken or the egg? But women have been portrayed in very unrealistic ways than deviate greatly from the normal looking women. Now sociologists and people in general society have taken notice that more recently it is not just women. Men have to look a certain way and their bodies need to be a certain shape with rock hard abs, defined biceps, a ripped back and a firm derriere. I say it is about time. Why shouldn't women be able to watch a poorly made movie with bad acting if only to see some man's bare pecs. It should happen more often. Why is it always the women who are running from danger and their blouse unbuttons or gets miraculously singed? Does that really happen? It has never happened to me. Why can't a man's shirt accidentally come off during a scene and remain that way the rest of the movie?

I'll admit that I just got done watching New Moon of the twilight series. Now that is a movie done right. Why should Taylor Lautner have to wear a shirt? Rain or shine, leave that shirt off. Sure I feel a little like a pedophile because he is so young but he is almost 18 right? I mean look at that body, I would like to touch every one of his 100 abs. Thank you Taylor and bless you. There are some men that I think should never wear shirts. Matthew McConaughey, Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum, Taylor Lautner, Paul Walker, Cam Gigandet, Josh Duhamel... I could go on. I think that it should be in their contracts stating that for at least 50-75% of the featured film you will not be wearing a shirt. I just recently watched Transformers 2 to my torture. That movie was dumb, but then again I didn't like the first one either. However, I thought that it was cruel that Major Lennox (Josh Duhamel) had to wear that heavy, constricting uniform that whole time. Didn't they know that big retarded transformers were after him? Let him take that shirt off and breathe a little. Give him a chance to survive for goodness sakes!...... I think it is time to watch the beginning of How to Lose a Guy in 10 days.

the most ridiculous time in the shower....

2010-02-19T14:54:00.000-08:00

Okay I had to blog about this one because it was freaking ridiculous. So I need to tell you background information first. Things have been hectic. We are trying to move out of our house and my mom has so much stuff. Not to mention my mom and I are both sick, I just had a little surgery on my foot and there are numerous other ailments that I won't bore you with. So two gimpy people are trying to pack and clean and beat the storm so we can travel to CA with a bunch of stuff in a trailer. Anyways, so I have to take a shower at my apartment for the first time ever even though most my stuff is there and I have been paying for my place since Jan. 1st. I am trying to hurry because I still have to pack and clean and help my mom so we can possible get out of Utah tonight. My doc last Weds. said that I couldn't get my foot wet until Mon because he put this bandage on it.... really Monday? How does one do that? So I tried the quick sponge bath method but I just don't feel clean enough plus I wanted to wash my hair. And who has time for a bath these days? Seriously who? WHO?! So it had to be a shower. I thought, simple. I will just take a shower with my foot out of the shower curtain. Breezy, no prob. Yeah right. So I am balancing on one leg, trying to reach my shampoo on the opposite end and the water starts streaming down my leg, all over my bandage and all over the floor, rug etc.... Then I am like dang it, so I adjust my leg thinking that I could salvage my foot but it was not so. More water poured out. Also did I mention that I had put makeup on today which I don't like doing in the first place and I didn't want to have to do again? So I am trying to shampoo my hair without getting my face wet but about the same time I freaked out about my foot, my face went under.... crap!. oh well. I am not putting it on again. No way no how. So I swing my leg into the shower and rest it high up on the wall so I am still balancing on the one foot. But it was no good, too late. So I just put it right into the water. My bandage left a smudge on the shower wall and now I am thinking how I have to clean the shower and mop up my mess on the floor. So ridiculous.... then I go to get out of the shower and the shower rod falls down and hits me, the curtain covering me, and rings fall one by one onto the floor. Seriously? Really? So I leaned against the wall and have to put the curtain back up. Walk out of the shower and notice that the smudge from my bandage is now on my shoulder... So me being the genius that I am thought that I would use my towel that I was currently wearing to wipe it off. My towel falls off just the same time that my new roommate comes out of her room. Did she see anything? just a boob? She didn't say anything... Well hello there new roommate, how are you today? Blam! Take that! It was a complete disaster! But I just started laughing. Who would have thought I would have such a time in the shower. Carrie if you are reading this... your rug is hanging up to dry.... sorry.

thank you Ru Paul

2010-01-30T00:58:00.000-08:00

So... I haven't been doing much of anything because I don't have school (graduated) and I am currently unemployed (joy). There is nothing special to report except life. The little simple things in life... very little and very simple. For instance, my mom, Shelli and I watched the ending of a very depressing movie last Saturday. I mean life can be depressing enough without having to watch a movie with no happy ending that just reminds you that life isn't a fairytale... but then again some good things happen. Like when I was trying to find something on TV that would lift our spirits, I did. It was called, "Ru Paul's Drag Race". It was highly entertaining. They were so into it. At the end, one of the drag queens had to be voted off and the lowest rated two had to do a lip sync to battle it out. It was the most dramatized lip sync I have ever seen in my life and it ended in tears. They shed tears of sadness (one got voted off) and Shelli and I shed tears of laughter. I mean I really cried. It was one of those laughs where no sound escapes but your mouth is open, you are hunched over, eyes shut, and tears streaming down while occasionally gasping for breath. Those are the best. Those laughs where you feel like you can't breathe and you actually hurt are priceless. However, no one ever looks attractive while laughing like that. It is not a laugh to impress people with your beauty. But it is wonderful. Just wonderful. Thank you Ru Paul.

Just another awkward moment at Church.

2010-01-17T19:44:00.000-08:00

For those of you that do not know me I say a lot of random things.... (wait you probably all know me if you are reading my blog... never mind that). I have a reputation for saying somewhat shocking things whether I mean to or not. Today was a good day, the Sabbath day. I prepared my lesson before church and then scurried off to sacrament meeting. I thought that the meeting went really well. One girl told her conversion story and it was amazing. It reminded me of the mission and I got a little emotional... but don't go thinking that I started crying because I didn't. Anyways, I was pretty tired when I went to teach gospel doctrine class. It was an amazing lesson about the fall of Adam and Eve which I could talk about for a long long time. It is so interesting to me and so important to the plan of salvation, however I only had 26 minutes to teach it once everyone filed into class. Things were going well, I didn't let the class derail. Anyways I am rambling on and this kid asks a question about the garden of Eden and the mental state of Adam and Eve. We were talking about their innocence and their ability to fulfill the first commandment to procreate. I was agreeing with the kid and restating what he said. My response: "Yeah I think that is a really good comment, you see Adam and Eve didn't have the skills necessary to procreate... (pause with odd expression on face while audience starts to chuckle).... hmmm yeah I said skills. yeah I bet knowledge would be a better word for it. But then I said it again right now. well I feel a bit awkward.... (the class continues to laugh)... okay moving on..." So pretty much I know how to bring the spirit in. However, I did get more compliments on the lesson than usual so maybe I might just start throwing in things like that on purpose, well actually probably not. I like it when it surprises us all, including myself. Then it's like we are all experiencing it at the same time. =) well that is all for now. Just thought I would share.

Sigh

2010-01-12T20:13:00.000-08:00

well it is the new year.... hurray for goals and new beginnings and blah blah blah. Don't get me wrong there are definitely some things that I would like to work on and things that I could change. And I want to. But I always feels like there is so much hype that eventually trails off into nothing. Maybe I give up too soon which is probably the case. I analyze everything. Probably too much. That is what I do all day. Right now I am out of school with no job and plenty of time on my hands to just think. I am at a stage in my life where I just want something to happen. Maybe move states or to another country. However, I will miss some peeps that is for sure. Then again, I wonder, what will it matter in the end. People have attachments but they can be broken and new ones formed. There are so many things I want to accomplish in my life but it is not happening as fast as I would like it to and I don't have a lot of control over it. That is bothersome. So I know that talking about relationships or lack thereof is a no no. Something to be hushed in order to keep some pride or maybe to make others believe that you are better off than others and that their loneliness or whatever is very undesirable. I really do hate all the games and societal rules that I myself participate in. It would be so much easier if people were allowed to be more of who they are without the judgments or doing things for appearance sake. It rather annoys me. Another thing that annoys me... how is it that I can be pursued by those I am not interested in and those who I am or could be interested in... nothing. Those are just some thoughts... random and jumbled like usual. I really should just write in a journal instead of posting my psychoanalytical thoughts but because I know that won't happen... yeah I am going to post it.

Wasted Day so far...

2009-12-02T14:57:00.000-08:00

So I woke up thinking that I was going to get so much accomplished today. But then I woke up later than I planned, missed my first class and thought who cares. That just means more time to run errands. So I head over the the IRS office to get some paper work and they are closed for lunch. No Biggie, I had to go to the BYU health center to draw blood anyways...so on I go. Get there, wait there, can't draw blood because I need to fast first. Poo. (as in fiddle sticks, not that I went poo. This list is not that detailed.) I go to the grocery store, get a call from a friend that needs some help. Miss my second class. Go back to the IRS building, lucky me they closed at 2pm today. It was 2:04pm. Sweet. Call car insurance to report my car accident on Sunday, get put on hold. They can't help. Have to call someone else. Go home. Drop off groceries. Go to dentist appointment. Get girl in training. She doesn't know what she is doing. I will report our dialogue in bold and any personal thoughts are italizied. I get there, I am tired. The girl says, Hi. How are you? Great she is going to be a talker, I can just tell. Dang it. I am pretty decent (and because it is only polite), how are you? and so it continues just as dull and pointless as it started. Blah blah blah ... as I stare out the window to the street thinking about how much I wanted a nap. The dentist comes in and says, How far along are you? Is he talking about if the girl started to clean my teeth or what? What is this cute old grandpa talking about? I am not going to say a thing, just smile. So he goes on to look at my teeth and my x-rays from last time and repeats the same things he says every time I have a visit. He is sweet but I could probably quote the things he is saying and the questions he is going to ask..... time passes and the new girl can't work the machinary so we have to move rooms. She is nervous. And asks, Are you pregnant? Nice No, I am not. She explained that she thought I was because of what the dentist asked and then told me that she was. Great... I don't care. Then she asked if I had kids... what is this? Do I look like I should have kids. I know that I am old enough to have kids especially here in Provo when girls get married at 19 years old... Nope, I am not married. And she replied, oh that must be nice. Now she is really struggling for words. We talked about how I am graduating in like 2 weeks and that I didn't know what I was doing with my life and she then started telling me how young I was and that I still had plenty of time. Nope. I am not a spring chicken either. Three strikes. Poor girl. Nervous, can't do her job, and keeps making dumb chit chat. It was comical and sad how many mistakes she was making. Every time she wanted the seat to move up, it went down and vise versa. She blinded me with light, and when she polished my teeth, she kept flicking that pasty crap on my face. I don't think that she could get a good grip because she decided to put her finger down my throat to keep my head steady. I tried not to gag because I didn't want her to feel bad but I was happy that my barf reflex is very weak. She would of had to put her whole hand down there to get anything good. When the doctor came back to check my teeth again, he rested the palm of his hand on my eye ball again like he always does... what a pleasant visit. She did say I had nice teeth though, so all is forgiven. I hope that the day gets a bit better...

Love

2009-11-08T20:29:00.000-08:00

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

-C.S. Lewis

There are so many levels of love. I have felt many. I can love my family and friends but I only let them in so far. I cannot be vulnerable, I cannot be weak, I cannot be dependent on anyone but myself and the Lord. I have not had a romantic love. I have not had a broken heart. It cannot be broken when you keep it safe, behind the iron casket. I do not show emotion. I must be tough. But it is hard and tiring. People rely on me. Cannot break. Cannot fall. Sometimes I want to open up but then I pull away. I want to tell people how I feel but instead I cut them off. I wish I could dissolve the iron casket of my heart but that is what keeps me going. I am wrapped up in pride. Pride that keeps me from giving my all. Keeps me safe. However I have felt the beauty of humility. When I have let people in. See me for me and not just the conception I give off. When I let my guard down and dissolve my shield, great things happened. For instance, I kept trying to teach my Mexican neighbor the gospel while on my mission. I could not speak very much Spanish, he couldn't speak English. I had an English speaking companion in an English area. I was on my own. He wasn't giving much effort and after a very hard day I was ready to give up. I wasn't going to speak in Spanish anymore. I was a failure. But when I got home that night after a long discussion with a Mexican family and two Catholic missionaries they had invited over to fight with me, I was on the verge of a breakdown. This is something no one can see. But there he was, my neighbor waiting outside when I got home. Wondering if I was going to teach him. I told him no. I could not speak Spanish. But as we talked I let him in, into my heart. I let him see the vulnerable me, very different from the proud joking independent me. Right then something changed. Without words. It is not something that the natural eye can see but only the eyes of the soul. Both our hearts changed that night. He gave me the hope I needed to carry on and I gave him the hope of eternal salvation that he needed. He started to read the scriptures, and made a journal out of what he was learning. He scheduled the appointments and brought an English/Spanish dictionary to our lessons. The spirit spoke the words I couldn't and he understood and was baptized. Great things happen when I am humble. Great things happen when I open up to people and show them a deeper level of love and devotion. And yet that is what I keep bottled up, too afraid to reveal. People don't seem to express this kind of love often. It is too odd, too revealing. Love is selfless and true. It is vulnerability and yet it is fearless. "There is no fear in love; but love casteth out fear." - 1 John 4:18. I wish that I could express more love and not be afraid. That I could be open with those I love and not feel weak. I want to melt the iron casket of my heart.

Why Halloween is my favorite holiday other than Christmas...

2009-11-04T14:37:00.000-08:00

Ah yes..... Halloween, a cherished time of year...
I don't think that enough people cherish and love Halloween as much as they should. I get excited for the next Halloween before Halloween is even over. I start thinking.... this year was great... but what will I be next year. It should probably be better, more creative and crazy. I love it. I love to dress up in whatever I want to and no one can say anything to me. And Halloween you can do it without all the usual odd looks when you happen to wear a costume in July just for fun or when you wear just your bathrobe out, or when you wear your plaid PJs to school for a week or numerous other things I may have done in the past. Don't judge. No this is my one time to shine, to be creative, to be whatever i want, to dress as crazy as i want.... moo ha ha ha. It is a thrill. And I love when people get excited about it too. Even walking across campus on Friday was a pleasure and I can't say that often since school is not my favorite place to be. There were many dorky kids wearing their ridiculous costumes and you could not peel the grin from my face. It is not everyday that you see a kid walking across the crosswalk with a shark hat on that looks like it is eating his head... joy of joys! Or when you glance at the person driving next to you and they are all dressed up. And no one really thinks it is weird to ask a perfect stranger to take a picture with them. They happily agree, no questions asked. Try that on a regular day and it is not the same effect. I have done it several times, and although they usually agree, again with the odd looks and perplexed faces. I wish that more people would dress up during the year. I would be a happier person, because it wouldn't be expected. How amazing would it be to have some of your favorite Disney characters driving right next to on the freeway? Or how spooky it could be to see a knife stuck in someones head with blood dripping down for no good reason? It would be fantastic! I might start dressing up more than once a year. I think people will appreciate it and if not I still will.

Harry and the Hendersons + E.T.

2009-10-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

Spoiler alert: This blog may reveal the plot or some of scenes in both these movies, so if you have not seen them... shame on you.

So last night about 2 am I am sitting there trying to think of a good topic for my research proposal and my mind wanders to other things like the two movies I just recently saw: Harry and the Hendersons (Own it and just felt like watching it) and E.T. (which was playing on HBO). And that is when out of no where it hit me.... an epiphany. Harry is E.T.! E.T. is Harry! Eureka! Why didn't I put the two together before? Let me explain how those two are indeed the same story! And I like them both!

E.T. came out in 1982 and Harry and the Hendersons came out in 1987 which technically that means that Harry copied E.T.'s plot but why not? If it is that good. They both came out in the 80's which means quality and that I would enjoy it.

1. They are both creatures that supposedly do not exist. One being an alien and the other big foot.

2. They both get separated from their homes and families.

3. The humans are scared of them at first but then find out that they don't want to hurt anyone and just want things to live and grow and be happy.

4. They miss their homes and want to go back to them but can't.

5. The humans fall in love with their mythical friend and they become one of the family and they don't want them to leave.

6. He either destroys the house or takes apart their toys which they find endearing.

6. But then others find out about their special family member and want to take it for their own.

7. Then starts the battle to hide their friend and protect it from the others who don't understand.

8. The creature must return home to survive but everyone is sad about this.

9. Then they go to the woods where they have escaped the bad people following them.

10. However, there has to be another person there (like the scientist in E.T. or the Doctor in Harry) that has believed in that creature his whole life and has studied it and wants its safety. That person gets to watch the creature depart back to his family with joy.

11. Everyone cries because they don't want their friend to leave and the creature hesitates not wanting to leave his new family.

12. but it must be and the creature wants to hug everyone because although these creatures are different than humans they seem to have the same forms of affection.

13. Then the sister in the movie, Drew Barrymore or Margaret Langrick, give their special friend a flower when they depart because that is apparently what girls do.

14. Then the magical friend leaves to go back to his home and all is well. They will never forget him and their lives are changed forever.

15. The End

Same movie. Which is weird that I watched them almost back to back without realizing that I had just watched the same movie twice and enjoyed it. Well up until my epiphany last night when it all came together that is. It did seem like a bit more remarkable at 2 something in the morning. Now that I am fully awake and writing this it doesn't seem more important than my research proposal.... but thus is life.

Yesterday

2009-09-28T20:15:00.000-07:00

to go back to the days when life was not so stressful. When life decisions did not have to be made. To go back to more youthful days when you felt better physically and did not have to worry. When you didn't understand life's tragedies and hardships. When your family or friends did not die. when you took time to draw, write stories and poems. when you played outside. you used your imagination to be whatever you wanted to be. you got dirty and didn't care. you loved more. you had more patience. you had more innocence. you had your whole life ahead of you. your friends lived close. you rode horses and spent most hours outside in rivers, the pool and the mud. You read books and made forts. you were excited for Christmas. the world was fascinating. have I lost that?

My Pet Peeves

2009-09-28T12:14:00.000-07:00

These are in no particular order:

1. People that choose to fill up their water bottle in the tall drinking fountain when someone is waiting and do not let that person get a quick drink. They leave the little midget one open with no water pressure so you have to double over and suck face with it to get any water out. I kind of want to spit water on that person.

2. slow drivers in the fast lane.... no one likes them and yet they still exist. why is that? Who are these jerks that get in the fast lane to go the speed limit? And it is actually against the law for someone to remain in the fast lane. In California they are only supposed to be in the fast lane for a mile before moving over. And here in Utah they are supposed to move over when a faster vehicle is approaching behind them. (I have been to traffic school enough to learn these things) They can actually get a ticket for staying in the fast lane and obstructing traffic. But do they? NO. I get the ticket for merely being a decent driver and going fast in the "fast lane" and encouraging the car in front to abide by the law and move the crap over by riding their butt until they do. And I get the ticket? Why me? If I could give out tickets I would give it to those drivers that have the audacity to drive slow in the fast lane. "what did I do wrong officer? I was not speeding!" "yeah, that is the problem. Get out of the fast lane. Here's your ticket." Justice would finally be served.

3.Slow walkers. I can't stand it. I cannot walk that slow. Even if I am not pressed to be somewhere I just cannot walk that slow unless I am physically disabled. And even then it bothered me, I wanted to walk faster and couldn't. I don't have patience for those who walk slowly. I think they have to have an excuse like a toddler, or the elderly, a pregnant person, or someone that is exhausted or hurt. Then I can feel for them walking like a sloth. Maybe they should have a fast lane on a side walk or path way. I know they do on escalators. Stand to the right, walk on the left. That would be great. But then there would still be those people that think that they can walk slow in the fast lane and I would have to give them a flat tire...oops, sorry.... yeah move over.

4. when people spit on the sidewalk. when people spit in front of people. when people spit their gum in the drinking fountain.... seriously pig?

5. people who litter

6. guys who adjust their man junk repeatedly in public... yeah gross. I have been known to say something to them.

7. People who talk in the movie theater. And I do not mean those people that whisper something short about the movie or say "that guy is hot" or something. But those people that want to tell you a story while the movie is on or want to have a chat. Or they make a bunch of sound effects (gasps, clapping, etc) or tell the actor in the movie what to do, or ask you what is happening because they don't understand, why don't you just watch the movie?... yeah those people. I did not pay $8-11 to listen to their comments. If you have something to say, save it until after the movie.

I have more pet peeves but I will give it a rest for now. Seven is a good number to stop on.

Grandma B on her 1st backpacking trip

2009-09-20T17:35:00.000-07:00

(Disclaimer: there may be a point in the this story where you read and think... too much information but that is my specialty.)

I have had one of the busiest weeks. This means that there was no time to contact friends, no relax time, no time for sleeping etc. For the first part of the week I was consumed in school work and getting things done so I could go on this backpacking trip. Weds night I kayaked for a couple hours in the Utah lake or whatever it is called. That was pretty enjoyable. Then the next morning.... I was off to an unknown adventure. I have never been backpacking before and I have always wanted to try it with someone who knows what they are doing. So I went with my teacher and a few students from my outdoor recreation class. I gave myself the nickname "Grandma B" for this trip because I was the oldest one other than the teacher. A couple of the kids had just graduated high school. At times I thought I was traveling with a young women's group and I was one of the leaders. I had no idea where we were heading other than it was most likely Zion's in St. George. After a 4 hour drive or so we arrived. I stepped out of the car ready to go... to the bathroom that is. Aww... the great outdoors with no toilets whatsoever. We are in the desert with barely any trees. So I just wander away from the group and pray that I do not bare all to my fellow classmates (there were 10 of us including the teacher) that I barely knew. Let me tell you that I hate going to the bathroom outdoors. That might be the one time in my life that I would rather be a guy. They have it so easy. Us gals, we have to find a good location where we can pull down our pants completely, then squat there while diverting the heavy stream away from our pant and shoes. It is a difficult process.

So there I am. Successfully went to the bathroom without getting caught. (Nudity can be funny while streaking or something but going to the bathroom? yeah gross). And we start our 6 mile hike. I don't know where we were but it was beautiful. The 40-45 lbs backpack I had on didn't feel great but I didn't mind the hike. We hiked up the top of the canyon and had a great view of the landscape there. The earth is beautiful. It was nice to be able to enjoy its beauty and not have to stress about school or what I am going to do with my life. Just enjoy it. I will admit that the last incline was tough on Grandma B but I pulled through. We climbed down to the bottom of the canyon and camped out under the stars on the sand next to the stream. The stars were amazing, and since I couldn't sleep I got to look up at them a lot.

After a long night of restlessness we got up, cooked breakfast (instant oatmeal) and were off for our 12 to 14 mile hike through the stream. Although a bit stiff, I was ready and looking forward to it. We walked in and out of the stream all day. The water was cold and refreshing. The hike was good but not easy. We had to dodge poison ivy on land and sink holes in the water. We were surrounded by canyon, red rock, sand and plant life. I enjoyed it for about the first 8 miles. Our group got split up and me and a girl named Nicole had our own adventure. We were by ourselves, following a path we did not know. It was like we were characters in an Indiana Jones movie. We had to beat the elements and find the clues. Since we had no idea where we were going, we would walk through the water a ways then we would look for tracks on land. We followed them through rough terrain. My legs got cut up by thorny plants that blocked our paths, while trees attempted to hit me in the face. Some succeeded. The scratches hurt but I didn't care. We were on a mission. We drove on. We met up with the group a couple miles later. And we all enjoyed a dip in the water hole. (Among a different bunch of friends, I could see some funny stuff going on but in this group... no nothing. Just the swimming). We spent an hour there, eating our lunches (or protein bar in my case). Then moved on, no time to waste. We had to be at our destination before night fall. We trudged on through the water and poison ivy... until we came to a part that is too narrow to walk upright and the water too deep to walk through. So I crawled hands and knees under this slight cove on a 2 feet ledge. I really did not want to fall in and be dragged under water by my pack, not to mention my stuff would all be wet. I made it and kept going. We had gone through a place called death hollows (nice name) and I think we were by the narrows or something like that.

The last few miles felt like an eternity. I was so tired and sore. Grandma B's knees, shoulders, and ankles were going to go out soon I thought. My feet were pruned and blistered from walking in water for hours but I was not going to stop. I walked a mile or so by myself because I was not as fast as the 4 people ahead of me but didn't want to walk as slow as the rest. It was nice. I still had to find my way alone but I just got lost in my thoughts. It was the break from reality that I needed. The trials I was stressing about just days before didn't seem that bad. If I don't go to grad school right away, it is not the end of the world. There are other options for me. I reflected on nature's beauty, my insignificant life and God. Which lead me to sing, "How Great Thou Art", a song I really love and was appropriate for the situation. It was a nice moment....

Later I tripped on my face trying to avoid getting my backpack wet. I did not want to put on wet clothes later. I slipped on one of the river rocks and went down in what seemed like slow motion. It took forever for me to hit the ground as I contorted my body and Peter Panned it into the rocks cutting up my knees and elbows. It is funny how slow I seemed to fall, as if gravity no longer had the same pull yet I was destined to eat dirt no matter my resistance. But I got up, inspected the damaged and carried on.

We reached our destination about an hour before nightfall. It was worth it. We were at the base of a looming red rock canyon wall that seemed to touch the black night skies. The stream gently flowed producing a soft rhythm with the chirping grasshoppers. The white sand felt nice beneath my feet. Occasionally I would see a shooting star or the leftovers of distant lightning that illuminated the majestic sky. It was magnificent. I was less awe struck at 3 am when I was the only one still awake, praying for just a bit of sleep. I had lost my mat somewhere along the way and could not get comfortable (not that that helped a lot) and I was pretty cold. I thought that after such an exhausting day, sleep would come immediately but it was not so. It was not that I was paranoid (even though I did pray no bugs would enter my ears or spiders crawl on my face and I may have considered turning my sleeping bag away from the trees so that a coyote would gnaw on my feet and not pounce on my head) it was just that i was uncomfortable....

In the morning, about 7 am, we all got up and started getting ready for out final trek back to the trail head. We went through the stream a couple times and a river. We went passed an arch and stopped at an Indian ruin with pictography etched into the rock walls. Then we came to what our teacher called a rock bridge. It was an amazing place. Beautiful and secluded. (The movies that came to mind- Princess Bride, the Lord of the Rings, maybe even Willow.)

All in all the trip was amazing and I would do it again. Not right away because I am really sore and I run/ walk like Forrest Gump before the braces were removed. It was definitely an experience...

oh the random things when I am tired

2009-09-11T20:30:00.001-07:00

Some may think that I am pretty out there at times with the comments I make and the crazy things I do but there is so much that I hold back. I mean I do and say more than the average but if you were only in my mind. I constantly entertain myself with things I imagine doing and saying. Cracks me up sometimes. But it is always worse when I am tired. For instance, when I was in Europe at a spa, people just didn't care about being nude. They were all shapes and sizes. It was pretty gross. I was in the steam room and a naked lady comes in and lies down right below me spread eagle. I was afraid to leave because I didn't want to have to climb over her. Then I saw more nudists. After a while I thought of just taking it all off... giving them a run for their money. But only better. We are talking jumping jacks. Lunges. whatever it takes..... disgusting thought really.

Next. I was at church bearing my testimony of sacred things like the atonement of Jesus Christ and how I know I need to repent daily in order for His sacrifice to not be in vain and at that moment.... in the same sentence I managed to say that we should not freeball it through life... Really? how did that come out? I blame it entirely on the fact that I was exhausted in every way possible. It is beyond me how I could have spoken about Christ and follow it up talking about men going commando with that horrible mental image. The guys got a good laugh though. I was the new girl that would always be remembered for saying "freeballing" in her testimony.

At school. So I was in the bathroom stall changing into dance clothes very slowly due to my tiredness and I started thinking about if I were handicapped. Like if I had to be confined to a wheelchair because my legs didn't work. At first I think that I would be devastated. But then I think I would pull some really good pranks and use it to my advantage. Like I could sign up for all these dance classes and outdoor recreation classes (part of my current schedule) and go there the first day all dressed up ready to go. Then they would feel really bad and not know what to say because no one wants to offend a handicapped person. I imagined their shock and embarrassment when they would try to say as nicely as they could that I could not be in their class. And how sad they would feel as I wheeled myself out the door all disappointed like. They would probably nervously glance around the room looking for some comforting face. Then once I got out in the hall I would smile because I got them. Look who is laughing now..... I was. In the bathroom stall as I thought about it. I bet the only other girl in the bathroom might have been alarmed to hear me laugh after I had been in the stall for so long. That would be a bit disturbing. But yet so were my thoughts.

and so it goes on. I have many more ridiculous things that I think about but do not say or do but I will save some for another time. What I have stated I do so freely. Mainly because I am not in the room with you watching your reaction..... Or am I?

why european guys get the girls...

2009-09-10T22:48:00.000-07:00

These are just some of my thoughts on the differences between men (or should I say boys) in the states vs. men abroad. In my travels I have noticed this grave difference between cultures. My experience in the states is that men (particularly white men) are apparently not go-getters when it comes to women. Maybe it is due to culture or what is socially acceptable or the rise in feminism but less men are taking chances. At the moment I am being vague but let me further explain...
When I lived in Mexico for a short time, there was no question when a man found a woman attractive. It would be expressed by blatant staring, followed by some hoots and hollers and on occasion maybe a little bit of stalking. I am not saying that this is my preferred method but it was obvious. Everyday I was a celebrity. I often found it over the top. However, when my time there was over I could not help but miss it a little. There was no subtleties where one has to somehow guess the others thoughts or try to analyze body language. Everything was pretty clear. I can only compare that in the states to once again some non-American born Mexicans, blacks, and Polynesians. (If you have read this sentence and now think that I am prejudice, let me reassure you that I am not. I may be lovingly stereotyping races and groups though. Just a few I feel are more prone to this particular behavior). It has been my experience that these groups are more direct when they are attracted to someone and respond in a similar manner to what I experienced in Mexico. They are not shy. They usually come right up to you and will comment on something that they like and then state their business. For instance, I have had quite a few black guys say that I have a nice a** and later followed by can I call you sometime. When I was younger I felt embarrassed and harassed but now I gladly accept the compliment. But this is still not preferable. They are making their attraction known which is nice but I feel it is too abrasive. More of a booty call (ha ha ha pun intended). Which brings me to the Europeans...
First off, yes I do find many of them attractive. And I really enjoy their accents. It helps a lot. But their ways of letting their intentions known is nothing more than amazing. I think that many men would benefit from taking a page out of the European dating book. When they check a lady out it is not in the "I just raped you with my eyes" look or the unblinking- make you feel really uncomfortable- stare. It is hard to describe. They stare and follow you with not only their eyes but will turn their whole heads and bodies if necessary. And yet, somehow, don't give the creepy vibe. It is the "I think that you are attractive and want you to know it look" without having to say anything. Then, if you give them the slightest inclination that you might be interested too, they act on it. Crazy right? All it takes is a smile or a hello. Then when they come over and talk to you it is not in an overly eager or booty call way. It is more of a "I think you are beautiful and would like to take you to a nice restaurant" way. And they say it with confidence which is extremely attractive. It seems so simple. Let person know you think they are attractive, get some response and act right then. For instance:
My sister and I were in London on the underground when a man kept checking my sister out. When we got off I told my sister about her admirer and she looked back smiled and waved at him right before the door shut. We laughed and walked away. But to our surprise he apparently leaped from his seat and squeezed through the closing doors and was shouting at us to stop. That takes some balls, if I may say so so crudely. He missed the next couple trains while talking to my sister and wanted to take her to get some coffee. (It did not happen but way to take charge!) That is what I am talking about. No missed opportunities. They have confidence, they know what they like and yet they still manage to treat us like ladies. I mean I still got told I had a nice a** from a British guy but it was after I knew him for a little while and with that accent he could really do no wrong. And that's it. My thoughts. I just wish that I could somehow instill this European attitude in the U.S. I think that both sexes would benefit.

Have I turned into a wimp?

2009-07-11T12:16:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my first blog ever. Why did I start a blog right now? was it because everyone else was doing it or because I don't want to start my homework or maybe because I too want to make my random pointless thoughts avialable to all? It is probably yes to all of those. I don't know what to write about truthfully so I will just write about whatever. First off. I am not a cryer. Never have been. I pride myself in being the one person in a group of cryers without a single tear. I find it embarrassing to show a vulnerable side. One has to be tough. But lately I don't know what has been happening. Ever since the mission, I have been emotional it seems. Just recently I watched the Mchael Jackson funeral and I cried a bit or maybe a lot. It was a sad and awesome funeral. When they sang "I'll be there" and the free willy song. that really got me. Plus it was a spiritual funeral as well. Then last night I saw the movie "My Sister's Keeper". I cried through that entire movie. It was so stinking sad. But really good though. I enjoyed it but couldn't stop crying.... luckily I walked swiftly out of the theater and I don't think that anyone saw my little emotional break down... so after the movie was over and a couple candy bars later I was feeling better.
On a completely different note, I thought I was going to be all good and exercise today. I was going to go on a long bike ride and listen to music. I imagined it all nice and peaceful and allowing me time to daydream and be all pensive and stuff. Instead, I got the bike out of the garage, the handle bar hit me in my head and it was raining. Then I filled the tires with air and adjusted the seat (it was mom's bike and she is quite a bit shorter than me. my knees about punched me in the face.) And I was off. How nice. I was soaring downhill with the wind and rain whipping my face and I thought... this is great. Then I turned and the peddling got harder. Not too tough for me to handle though. Down another street and another and my thighs burned and I couldn't breath as well. I thought: come on fatty what is going on, you have gone two blocks. But I was plum tired. went another 2 and thought: might want to make my trip back home. It was all uphill from there. I thought I was going to have a muscle spasm. It is embarrassing to say that I even walked a bit. then I finished off strong... my long bike ride turned out to be a mere 10 blocks total and I didn't have a moment to daydream. All I could think about is on my goodness.... why?! and my legs still hurt. I deserve a treat.
Until next time.....